Borderline Ridiculous Things TSA Agents Confiscated at the Airport

A Cat

Ever heard of the saying, “let the cat out of the bag?” For the TSA agents at the airport of Pennsylvania, this became quite literal. It all happened on New Years’ Eve of 2018. A couple from Florida had decided that the best way to travel with pets and not pay any extra fees was to just stash the cat inside their luggage.

A Cat

However, they failed to consider the matter of getting past baggage checks. Aside from the fact that this was obviously illegal, the couple also endangered their pet.

A Python

If you are someone who is afraid of heights as well as snakes, this next one would probably be your worst nightmare. A traveler on her way to Barbados tried to smuggle a whole python by stuffing it inside an external hard drive packed in her checked bag. Thankfully, the TSA agents at the airport decided to have a look.

A Python

They ended up contacting the US Wildlife Services. Unfortunately, this python dressed in nylons ended up missing the flight.

Firecrackers

Do you ever wonder what goes on through the minds of some people, while they make certain decisions? These firecrackers were packed into the checked bag of a traveler at the Owensboro-Daviess County Regional Airport (OWB).

Firecrackers

What sounds like a horror flick with a low budget is actually the name of the firecrackers. Now here is a reminder, in case any of you needed it. Firecrackers are not allowed on the airplane.

Goldfish

This passenger took Finding Nemo to a whole new level. Can you imagine trying to sneak in not one but one hundred and sixty-three different types of marine tropical fishes on an airplane?

Goldfish

We will never know if he wanted to sell them for profit or not. Maybe he just wanted to have an aquarium full of beautiful fish. If only he had planned things out and not tried to sneak in fish buddies illegally.

Low-Cost Mjolnir

Imagine standing in an airport, and you see the person next to you standing with a low-cost Mjolnir made of wood? This is what happened when a passenger with a very big wooden mallet came through the safety check.

Low-Cost Mjolnir

Just months after the release of the second Thor movie, Thor: The Dark World, in theaters in the US at the end of 2013, TSA agents most likely thought that this was some kind of joke.

Baby Turtles and Crocodiles

People have really gotten creative, haven’t they? On June 2, 2011, a Thai customs officer confiscated turtles during a news conference at the Thai Customs Department in Bangkok. 451 turtles worth 1 million baht ($33,000) stashed in suitcases offloaded from a passenger flight from Bangladesh have been found by Thai customs.

Baby Turtles and Crocodiles

Turtles of varying sizes were discovered in small bags packed into cases on Thursday after authorities received a tip-off that a known trafficker was on his way to Thailand.

Birds

The early 2010s sure was wild. Back in August of 2011, during a pat-down that was being conducted due to bulky clothing at Los Angeles International Airport, two birds were discovered.

Birds

They were covered in socks and taped to a woman’s leg and chest who was traveling to China. The woman was then arrested by USFWS officers on suspicion of smuggling and exporting an endangered species from the United States.

Bars of Gold

Mumbai airport has been a known den for smugglers. Even then, finding bars of solid gold worth more than one million is not everyday news. This bizarre event happened back in the year 2019. A huge amount of gold was discovered during the airplane cleaning on a daily flight from Mumbai to Bangkok.

Bars of Gold

We have often forgotten our phones on the airplane. If you are particularly forgetful you might even forget a few dollars. Bars of gold, however, is an entirely new level.

Gaslit Lamp

This modern-day Aladdin decided to seek out a whole new world but left his magic carpet behind, He did however bring along his trusty magic lamp. Now we do not know if the genie did live inside, we do however know that it was full of fuel.

Gaslit Lamp

This was reported back in 2017 at San Diego International Airport. It was discovered in the carry-on luggage of a passenger and seized by the TSA.

Eels

A bag of eels. Yes, you read that right, Not one, not two. Not even a dozen eels.

Eels

This incident occurred back in January 2015 at an airport in Miami. As a flyer tried to smuggle them through security in a checked bag, the TSA seized the eels along with 163 tropical fish and 22 invertebrates. All the animals were surrendered to the US Fish and Wildlife Service by the passenger.

Ninja Stars

So many aspiring ninjas have tried and failed to stealth their way into an airplane. Now you would be surprised with how often people try to sneak in ninja stars. This begs us to ask the question, what do these ninjas think before making such drastically crazy decisions?

Ninja Stars

For those of you at the back who are still confused, let us clarify. Even though ninjas are welcome onboard all flights, their equipment is most certainly not.

Small Snakes in Nylon Stockings

What is it with snakes on planes? People seem to be going to some very extreme yet creative lengths to bring snakes on board.

Small Snakes in Nylon Stockings

Seven small snakes, stuffed in nylon stockings, were found in a traveler’s pants in August 2011 at Miami International Airport. He also had three small turtles. Using TSA’s Advanced Imaging Technology, the snakes and turtles were found. USFWS officers arrived at the scene and took the reptiles into custody. The passenger was arrested for violating the Lacey Act and charged with it.

Human Skin Pills

Now we all know about the importance of vitamins. They are crucial for our health. Some people in the far east, however, claim that taking pills with human skin inside is believed to increase their resilience and energy.

Human Skin Pills

Thousands of these pills loaded with human skin that was brought in from China were found by South Korean customs officers. No, we do not know what was done with those pills, but we are glad they have been duly disposed of.

Caterpillars

At Gatwick Airport in England, a 22-year-old guy tried to sneak 207 pounds of dried caterpillars through customs. The man believed he was going to use them for “food” and “personal consumption.”

Caterpillars

Airplane food has had a reputation of being bland and distasteful. Which, does not mean you should take matters into your own hands and find other ways of sustenance. While we do believe desperate times call for desperate measures, this should not be one of them.

A Pug

Please do not do this to your beloved pet pug. We request you. We get that you hate leaving your pets behind while traveling but surely there are other ways to do it.

A Pug

A woman flying from London’s Heathrow Airport to Marbella, Spain, was found to have a little pug named Ruby tucked asleep in her check-in bag for a girls’ holiday. We do not know what happened to Ruby. All we can do is hope that she is doing okay.

An Urn

Why! Oh why, do you need to sneak in an actual urn? Such are the questions that keep us up at night, after learning about these situations. Some things are not meant to be on planes. This urn is one of those things.

An Urn

The urn in question was found at an airport in France by customs officers. While not explicitly banned from checking in baggage, questions about its content were asked. Fortunately, she was allowed to travel.

A Beard

Yes, you read that right. A beard! As a matter of fact, multiple ones. The strange thing about this story is that at the time he wasn’t sporting any of the beards.

A Beard

One man was noticed at Dublin airport for St Paddies day in 2019 to have a complete sack of real beards apparently for a costume party, questions were asked, but eventually, he was left through. Witnesses said that the man smelled very questionable.

An 8-Year-Old Child

This is not a Home Alone situation, we are afraid. Okay, maybe the opposite of that movie. Back in the year 2015, an eight-year-old Ivorian boy was smuggled from Morocco into Spain in a suitcase. Living in the Canary Islands, the boy’s father had hoped to be reunited with his son.

An 8-Year-Old Child

We sympathize with the dire circumstances that let such a drastic action to take place, however, we do not support it. In hindsight, we think this one clearly takes the cake on the most ridiculous incident.

Ninja Climbing Claws

The first rule of becoming a ninja – Be stealthy as the night and dangerous as the dawn. Now we are not sure how he came up in the second part of this rule, but he sure did fail to be stealthy.

Ninja Climbing Claws

Back in the year 2015, an aspiring ninja failed to hide these Ninja Climbing Claws properly. They were found at Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport in a carry-on bag.

Pigeons

For future reference, if you want to take your beloved pets with you on a vacation, please just book a ticket for them in the pet carrier. Strapping your pair of pigeons to your ankles is not the right way to go about it.

Pigeons

A passenger on the way to board a plane was stopped at Melbourne Airport on a flight from Dubai with a pigeon in each of his socks.

Another Small Dog

For the love of your pets, please double check your suitcases before locking them in. You never know when your favorite pet might just sneak in. This is exactly what happened to this lady in 2015.

Another Small Dog

An officer was surprised while solving a checked luggage alarm when he found a dog in the bag! Apparently, as its owner was packaging her suitcase, the dog climbed in. In order to find the owner, TSA collaborated with the airline, and the two were happily reunited.

A Human Skull

This next one is so ridiculous; it may as well be a scene straight out of a movie. In April 2013, TSA agents of the Fort Lauderdale International Airport found human skull fragments hidden inside clay pots.

A Human Skull

The fragments were not a security threat, but since the screening area became a crime scene, they slowed the screening process down. The passengers had just bought the clay pots and had no idea that there were skull fragments inside.

Snakes (Again)

Why! Oh why, do people keep bringing their pet snakes to the plane? On top of that, why do these people keep leaving their pet snakes behind for the others to find?

Snakes (Again)

This albeit harmless 15-inch, ring-necked snake was left at a checkpoint at Newark Liberty International Airport. A little girl found a snake on the floor of the Terminal C checkpoint. She told an officer who secured the snake with a bin and moved the travelers in that line to another one.

Moose Nuggets

Have you ever thought that you would have to share a flight with moose nuggets? This stinky scenario was almost about to be the reality until the TSA agents decided to have a look.

Moose Nuggets

A passenger at Juneau International Airport (JNU) had on board with him a huge sack full of moose nuggets. In other words, dried waste of the animal that he presumably collected during his travels. Now, we don’t judge tourists based on the souvenirs they choose to keep, but we do agree that this does seem very ridiculous.

Pastries Stuffed With Money

Do movies take inspiration from real life? Or is real-life finding inspiration from the most bizarre events happening in the movies.

Pastries Stuffed with Money

Either way, this next item is completely ridiculous. In 2012, German customs agents allegedly found money launderers who had rolled up bills and hidden them in pastries at Berlin Schönefeld Airport. While we do commend the creativity of these people, we do not condone such behavior at all.

These T-Shirt Fails Are So Funny You’ll Cry Laughing

Accurate

“Smile, and the world smiles back at you,” goes the old saying. Basically, it means that our attitude affects our circumstances more than we realize. Think positive and good things will happen.

Accurate

When this guy decided to put on a T shirt in the morning that says “This really sucks,” he probably didn’t realize it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. To be fair though, getting arrested does really suck, so his T shirt gets points for being accurate.

Don’t Stop Belieber-ing

We can’t figure out exactly what happened here – did these two majorly lose a bet? Are they accompanying their screaming girlfriends to the concert? Or are they just die-hard Bieber fans?

Don’t Stop Belieber-ing

It looks like the guy on the right is attempting his own version of Justin Bieber’s shaggy hair that he rocked in the beginning of his career. The pink hue of this shirt doesn’t help matters. Whatever the case is, we can’t stop laughing at these embarrassing T shirts.

Making Light Of It

Anorexia is a serious disease which affects millions of people a year. The ill effects and dangers of the condition cannot be overstated. However, this portly tubster has decided to make a joke out of this affliction.

Making Light Of It

Anorexics suffer from mental barriers which prevent them from eating enough to sustain a healthy body – this glutton’s shirt glibly refers to his obese body and, rather than frame his physique as a failure of will power, declares it’s a victory over anorexia.

You Are Not What You Wear

Everyone knows what a chick magnet is. It could be a super cool sports car, or a cute puppy. It could even be a smooth guy who’s good at talking to women. What’s usually not a chick magnet though is a teenage boy on a sofa in his parents’ basement.

You Are Not What You Wear

However, this guy has decided to publicly declare his chick magnet status with this bold T shirt. Judging by his female companion’s facial expression, she’s equally surprised by this statement.

It Might Take A Lot Of Drinking…

So we’re all familiar with beer goggles: the idea that when we’re drunk, we might see people around us being more attractive than they actually are…not that we’ve had personal experience with this.

It Might Take A Lot Of Drinking…

Basically, after a couple of rounds, even an ugly duckling can look like a supermodel under the fluorescent neon light of a Budweiser sign. This guy is simply cutting to the chase with this T shirt, and judging by the girl next to him, his strategy might be paying off.

Thanks For The Warning

Before we get disgusted by this lady’s choice of tacky T shirt, I think we actually have to thank her. Too many times we’ve been unexpectedly ambushed by others, whose emissions caught us totally off guard and we had no chance to move away from the danger zone.

Thanks For The Warning

Hey, this lady is making sure it won’t be a “silent but deadly” situation where we end up nearly choking to death with no warning. And remember: “he who smelt it, dealt it.”

Rhythmic Fail

It’s a common phrase in popular music: “Clap your hands!” We clap to show our satisfaction with a performance, or to encourage others. A positive and upbeat message for a T-Shirt, and one we support.

Rhythmic Fail

However, crapping your hands is obviously something one wants to avoid. Clearly, this shirt is the victim of a major translation error – we’re sure the wearer doesn’t want to encourage those around him to crap their hands, as that would just be terribly unpleasant for everyone.

Hearbreaker

It’s a tough life when you have tons of women trying to beat down your door to be with you. What’s the solution for this difficult problem? A T shirt of course, which explains to the common woman that despite your amazing good looks, they shouldn’t even try to get your attention.

Hearbreaker

The truth hurts – you have no chance with this stud of a gentleman because he only dates models. Dry your tears, ladies. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Warning Not Heeded

We all have that one dumb friend who was always being rushed to the emergency room in high school – whether he tried to jump off a roof into a pool, or got frustrated during a beer pong match and ended up smashing the table with his hand – we all have had shenanigans that resulted in injuries.

Warning Not Heeded

This kid, however, at least owns it. You just have to imagine what the doctor in the hospital, and what his parents, thought of his unfortunate shirt choice.

Just Dumb It

Much like our corporate overlords advising us to either “Just do it” or “think different,” this shirt has clear instructions to whoever reads it. “Think less, stupid more.”

Just Dumb It

However, it seems like the message got lost in translation, as the shirt is basically advising us to turn off our brains and make bad decisions. But this shirt, for all of its flaws, is accurate about cause and effect. Usually, when we think less, we do end up doing stupid things more.

Geography Fail

All of us have our weak subjects – for some of us, it’s math. For others, it’s foreign languages. But there’s no excuse for this dumb mistake. The continent depicted is clearly Africa, but the label above it says “Asia.”

Geography Fail

Whoever came up with this shirt should have made sure to check a globe before printing. But even if the shirt had said “Africa,” It’s still a pretty bizarre concept for a shirt. What are you trying to prove – that you know basic geography?

Joy, Deep Fried

There are many things to criticize about this dumb shirt. It’s a total fail when it comes to spelling (“hamberger” instead of hamburger). We have major grammatical issues here – “I feel happy when I eat a him.” (????)

Joy, Deep Fried

But the silliest thing about this shirt is that it says “hamberger” when the shirt clearly shows a big box of French Fries. The difference between a hamburger and fries is sacred – how can you mix these two amazing foods up? It’s just disrespectful.

Joke’s On You

Usually, neon pink isn’t a color that we associate with the manliest of men. Seeing a guy rocking pink might be something that would make us giggle. However, this senior citizen beat us to the punch – he’s telling us that he has the last laugh.

Joke’s On You

Apparently, he has borrowed this shirt from our girlfriend – but that doesn’t make much sense either, because why would she have a shirt that has this message on it? It’s an infinite loop of confusion.

Hypocrite Much?

Usually, bouncing around in the back of a pick up truck while only slightly touching the back of the truck for safety isn’t considered very safe.

Hypocrite Much?

Who knows why this guy has this shirt on – has he just come from a lecture or seminar about safety? Is it part of his uniform? Whatever the case, we can all agree he’s taking a major risk here. This man embodies the spirit of the old saying “Do as I say, not as I do.”

A Good Hustle?

Hustle has entered common use in everyday conversation and “Good things” can be pretty loosely defined. However, the official definition of “hustle” is: obtain by force or persuasion, and used in slang means “a fraud or swindle.”

A Good Hustle?

Either way, it’s a word used to describe illegal activities which result in a tax-free payday. We hope this woman isn’t publicly promoting a criminal lifestyle. If one’s idea of a “good thing” is sitting in a jail cell, then this is the perfect shirt.

The Confession

We all know the feeling. You’re swimming, enjoying yourself, when all of the sudden comes that mysterious warm spot in the water. Then, the screaming and pointing as others figure out who the perpetrator is.

The Confession

Nobody likes a pool peer, but this guy is a walking confessional and admits that he is one. Did he lose a bet? Is this just a shirt he wears normally in every day life? Chalk this up to a major case of unfortunate timing.

Time Is Running Out

Following up on our theme of eligible bachelors trying to repel women, this particular man is a little bit different. Instead of preemptively rejecting women, he’s actually trying to shame them. Come on, look at him. Ladies, wake up!

Time Is Running Out

You’re clearly missing out on a good catch, and this guy is just trying to help you. They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and this guy obviously is the Prince Charming you’ve been waiting for.

Too Much Information

Three simple words. One big mistake. This shirt has a pretty bold statement, declaring to everyone in the vicinity that the wearer has gas.

Too Much Information

While the shirt may make sense to some – it’s a recreation of the Chevron gas company’s corporate logo – it comes across as crasser and indicative of tummy troubles than the wearer probably intended. Maybe the wearer wanted to say he’s a big fan of Chevron, or maybe he just wishes he owned a gas station.

Gangsta Grandpa

“Haters” are a problem for the young people of today, as cyber-bullying and digital disses have become commonplace. This guy has a message to the haters, aggressively saying “Wussup” in a way that indicates he doesn’t care what they have to say about him.

Gangsta Grandpa

However, the wearer looks a little too mature to be hip to the current slang. He also is not a rapper or Internet celebrity, so the chance that he has “haters” seems pretty low.

Grunge vs. Pop Rock

Everyone remembers the classic rock band Nirvana. Famous for bringing gritty grunge music to the forefront of the American rock music scene, they rocked a distinctively disheveled appearance and devil-may-care attitude when it came to fashion.

Grunge vs. Pop Rock

So it’s especially insulting that a photo of the clean-cut pop rock group Hanson have been mislabeled with Nirvana’s name. These bands are basically the exact opposite of each other. Kurt Cobain is definitely turning in his grave over this major T Shirt fail!

When Your Shirt Predicts The Future

This may be the first time we’ve seen someone’s life perfectly described by their T shirt. We can only imagine what sort of fun – probably criminal in nature – this guy was having before the cops rained on his parade and busted him.

When Your Shirt Predicts The Future

If you’re going to wear a shirt taunting the police, you should probably make sure that you’re following the law perfectly. Otherwise, you could end up in an awkward situation like this. Ironic anyone?

Death To Minnie

Deadmau5 is a popular electronic music DJ from Canada. Known for performing while wearing a giant mouse head that obscures his face, he also uses a mouse logo that’s so similar to Mickey that he’s been sued by Disney.

Death To Minnie

His music is great, but that doesn’t mean that we are anti-other mouses. We all love a trip to Disneyland, but this guy seems vaguely threatening. He definitely chose the wrong shirt to wear to his meet and greet with Minnie Mouse.

The Shirt Matches The Scenario

We’ve all been there – made a hasty decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, and ended up regretting it. Maybe we went to Vegas and YOLOed, only to realize after that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

The Shirt Matches The Scenario

Maybe we tried to do a sweet trick with our boat while in the Everglades, only to get stuck in the swamp. Whatever the case is, it’s always nice when your shirt perfectly matches the occasion.

Lost And Found

We’ve all been there – you’re out somewhere with your wife, maybe at a crowded buffet, and suddenly, you can’t find her. You yell her name, call her cell phone, and even try that newfangled texting thing to get in contact with her, but nothing works.

Lost And Found

Forget about those tense few minutes spent wondering if you’ll ever see her again. These T-shirts simplify the situation beautifully – you just need to wait for someone to spot your wife and you’ll be reunited immediately.

Some Extra Security

People love to talk about the bad aspects of being overweight. It’s dangerous for your health, they say. But do they ever talk about the major benefits of being pleasantly plump?

Some Extra Security

For now, let’s put aside the increased risk of heart disease, cancer, and diabetes – you’re much more likely to escape a kidnapping if the criminals can’t wrangle you into their van. Meanwhile, Ms. Skinny As A Feather is easy pickings for kidnappers. Our extra weight is just for safety.

A Message To The Haters

We love a good message shirt – quick, clever, and quirky ones never fail to get our attention. And of course, we love a double sided shirt as well, with a meaning on both the front and the back.

A Message To The Haters

This shirt covers all of those bases. It’s eye catching and gets his point across: he’s in the club and knows jealous haters are looking at him. But why this particular gentleman went with a belly baring crop top…we’ll never know.

Let’s Call It A Night

We’ve all experienced those rough nights of drinking that seem to drag on and on. We’re tired, we’re inebriated, and we just wanna eat a greasy slice of pizza and make it home to the comfort of our bed.

Let’s Call It A Night

This older woman’s shirt cuts to the chase – and the mixed up phrase shows even more strongly why she needs to be taken home immediately. However, we’re a little worried about why she’s claiming to be drunk in the middle of the afternoon.

Keep It To Yourself

Maybe he’s a construction worker or a garbage collector. Maybe he’s a real estate agent with municipal contracts. Maybe he’s just super enthusiastic about waste disposal. Or maybe, he’s making a crude reference to his favorite time of the day, after his morning coffee and accompanied by a long reading of the day’s newspaper.

Keep It To Yourself

It’s unclear what kind of dump this gentleman is referring to…but whatever the case is, wearing a T shirt with this phrase is an epic fail.

Talk To The Hand

We’ve all had those days. We wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and thing after thing just keeps going wrong. We want to put in our earphones and be left alone, but that one annoying coworker is annoying us and talking our ear off.

Talk To The Hand

Fortunately, as modeled by this senior citizen, there’s now a T-shirt which perfectly expresses that exact feeling. But judging from this older lady’s smiling face, we’re guessing that she doesn’t really mean it.

Bad Timing

Who doesn’t love bacon? It goes great on everything from macaroni and cheese to hamburgers. It’s also a classic American breakfast staple. So in theory, this I Love Bacon T shirt should be perfectly suited for every situation.

Bad Timing

However, this is probably one of the few times that the wearer of this T shirt can feel awkward. Maybe the wearer wasn’t expecting to meet a cute piglet on this day. Looks like this little piggy is not having it.

Still Beating You

Usually, runner’s shirts are competitive and edgy: “Just do it” or “Strong is the new skinny.” It’s pretty rare that we see someone working out wearing something this self deprecating.

Still Beating You

50, Fat, and Diabetic are all traits we usually don’t think of as positive, and rarely see advertised with pride on a T shirt during an athletic event. But this guy actually has a good point. He looks like he’s keeping a good pace and we need to catch up.

Mom?

We all remember that mortifying moment as a child – being as tall as most adults’ knees, and running through a crowd, then grabbing a stranger’s hand, confident that it was our parent’s.

Mom?

Then we looked up, and had the horrible realization that it was indeed a stranger who we had approached. This T shirt is sort of an updated version of that – this cow looks pretty confused, as she think she has definitely met the cow on the T shirt before.

100% Confidence

Confidence is key, and this older woman embodies the spirit of the old phrase in the best way we’ve seen for a while. They say if you got it, flaunt it – and while this woman may not have “it” (or at least, our idea of “it”) she definitely doesn’t care in the least.

100% Confidence

She is 100% sure that she is hotter than you. But the ratio this woman used to come up with this very specific number remains a mystery.

100% Jailbird

Judging from the fact that she’s wearing this shirt in her mugshot, it’s pretty clear she’s a little bit more than 98% naughty. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently also part angel isn’t enough to keep her from being booked in for the night.

100% Jailbird

This T shirt isn’t a valid alibi and she seems like she’s resigned herself to a long stay in lockup. We wonder what the 2% angel part of her thinks of the fact that she’s in big trouble.

Obamao?

Right from the get go, this shirt confused us. Is it satire? An insult? An honor? Is there some sort of intense political commentary here, implying that Obama is similar to Chairman Mao?

Obamao?

Or is this just the work of someone who is a big fan of Chairman Mao and considers it a compliment to depict Obama in his likeness? Unfortunately, we can’t read Chinese so we have no idea what the mysterious characters below the portrait say.

Is This A Confession?

As we can tell from this guy’s face, even he knows this shirt was a terrible idea. A bright orange shirt perfectly resembling a jail uniform, plus the big bold stamping of the word “guilty” isn’t exactly the best look when one is being booked in for the night.

Is This A Confession?

Everyone’s supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but this guy and his choice of shirt makes us wonder. This dumb T shirt puts the concept of “reasonable doubt” to the test.

That Escalated Quickly…

This shirt starts off well. It’s the nice beginning of what is presumably a text message conversation between two iPhone users, judging by the bubble style of the conversation. “You’re cute” – aww, thanks! But the crazy train pretty quickly leaves the station with the follow up “Murder me.”

That Escalated Quickly…

What could this possibly mean? We’re hoping that this is simply a case of getting lost in translation, but whatever the situation, this T shirt is definitely a major fashion fail.

Bold Statement

There are lots of natural highs in life. People have fun dancing, jogging, exploring nature, playing the guitar, etc., without the use of substances to “enhance” the experience. Usually, the message is we give to kids is to pursue life’s natural highs without getting into dangerous territory.

Bold Statement

However, this guy’s sweater delivers a bold statement saying the opposite. We think this is a simple case of a factory making a mistake and accidentally printing the wrong message – but who knows?

Cool Story, Bro

We are not sure what this shirt is even supposed to mean, besides that the wearer looks dumb. Let’s start off with the horrible puke green color, which hurts our eyes especially when paired with the plastic sunglasses and neon green matching hat (titled to the side, ugh.)

Cool Story, Bro

Too bad this shirt looks about as cheap as any knock off you’d find at a tourist trap pier boardwalk. But judging from the expression on his face, he obviously doesn’t care.

You Only Live Once

Sometimes fashion trends look dumb on older people. Some trends look dumb no matter who wears them. We can’t imagine anyone that would look good in this neon, multi-color, embellished mess.

You Only Live Once

The shirt appears to be an original work, with painted alternating bright letters. We admire this guy’s confidence, though. He’s rocking bedazzled shades that match what appears to be homemade studs on the sleeves. He embodies the spirit of the first word on the shirt – You Only Live Once.

Wait Your Turn, Ladies

Following up from our last picture, we have another young Romeo with enough confidence to declare “I’m a player” to the world. The fact that he’s wearing a pageboy hat and seems to be sporting a 12 year old boy’s level of facial hair on his upper lip, he is saying that he’s beating off the ladies with a baseball bat.

Wait Your Turn, Ladies

He also seems to be in the middle of Wal-Mart, which I guess is his prime pick up spot.

Hello Biceps

Hello Kitty has just gotten front row seats to the gun show! We are pretty curious about the circumstances behind this pic – did this guy open the wrong Christmas present and end up with a shirt that was meant for his little sister?

Hello Biceps

Was this shirt a gag gift and he decided to embarrass the giver by putting it on? Did he lose a bet? Whatever the case, we’re sure this is not the way most people wear a Hello Kitty shirt.

Lost In Translation?

We are really, really, really hoping that the unfortunate lady rocking this t shirt is unaware of what it actually says. This appears to be a classic “lost in translation” fail where a factory in another country simply printed a design they thought looked pretty without knowing the meaning behind the words.

Lost In Translation?

We hope that’s the case, because the other possibility – that this woman knew exactly what the shirt said when she put it on – is just way too grim.

Help?

So while this shirt when fully exposed may be a cute reminder of the cute Will Ferrel Christmas movie “Elf,” when worn with a partially zipped up cardigan, this shirt looks more like a desperate cry for help.

Help?

Will’s shrieking face poking out from just beneath the collar is a pretty distracting sight that could probably scare a small child or two. We don’t recommend rocking this shirt in public unless you’re going sans jacket and the entire shirt is visible.

Gentlemen Prefer…Blondes?

There’s a popular idea in our culture that gentlemen prefer blondes – there was even a movie starring Marilyn Monroe with that title! But, as we know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Gentlemen Prefer…Blondes?

While the lovely young woman in the above pic is certainly attractive, I think everyone can agree that she is definitely not a blonde. Why then is she wearing this shirt? Is she trying to make an ironic statement? Or does she just not care? Who knows.

Design Flaw

This T shirt is a special kind of fail and different from the others on the list.

Design Flaw

This shirt doesn’t involve a dumb or inappropriate message, mistranslated phrase or awkward placement…no, the problem with this shirt is just one big fat design flaw, namely that the color contrast makes it look like the wearer is walking around all day rocking a major wedgie! It literally looks like this unfortunate gentleman has hiked up his tighty whiteys and is unaware of it.

Thank God I’m Not A Cop

Although we aren’t cops, we definitely would give this guy a ticket on behalf of the Fashion Police. This shirt has a lot of bad elements: an unfortunate neon green color with white lettering, which is aesthetically unpleasing, but maybe even worst of all is the fact that this shirt’s message is written in COMIC SANS!

Thank God I’m Not A Cop

We won’t arrest him for being sexy, but in terms of committing a major crime against fashion (and our eyes…) We sure think he’s guilty.

Not Quite The Same Thing

So, it’s everyone’s idea of a fun time: go out in public with your significant other in matching shirts that declare your devotion to your special someone. But in this case, it appears that one unlucky lady’s love isn’t quite matched by her hubby.

Not Quite The Same Thing

She’s wearing a shirt that clearly says “I Love My Boyfriend” – which is helpful, in case she ever forgets that. But her boyfriend seems less interested and instead has a shirt saying how much he loves hats.

The North Face?

It’s all the rage for many brands now – everyone from high street designers to the most haute couture of fashion house are making garments that play off or parody well known logos. It seems like this guy has a shirt which is modeled after the distinctive North Face logo.

The North Face?

But instead of advertising the rugged outdoor adventure lifestyle of a North Face wearer, his shirt confusingly says “The Sexy Face.” Never stop studying? At least that’s a good message.

Confident Guy

We’ve all heard the saying: “If you stare at the sun, you’ll go blind.” Everyone’s mom told them this in elementary school, but this is the first time we’ve seen it as a bragging statement.

Confident Guy

Is this guy declaring that he’s the center of the solar system and that everything revolves around him? Is he comparing himself to the sun in the sense that both of them are white hot? We’ll never know, but we definitely admire his self confidence.

Lost In Translation?

It’s a sweet gesture: wear a shirt that expresses in 2 words and with 1 emoji-esque symbol how much you care for the woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Hence, the popularity of everything from stickers to buttons to mugs that say I Love MY Wife.

Lost In Translation?

But something seems to have gone wrong with this T shirt. Judging from the oblivious expression on this guy’s face, we’re going to assume that something got majorly lost in translation.

I Take It Back

This shirt is just insulting from the get go. Nobody likes being referred to as “little friend”, except for maybe Tony Montana’s gun in Scarface. “I was hasty” is also an unusual phrase, especially when followed up by the major declaration “You are not a duck.,” insinuating that the wearer has called the reader a duck.

I Take It Back

It’s hard to understand how the mix-up happened. The ellipses after the last phrase, however, implies that the issue is still up for debate.